My mimobot and ME

OMG!!!! I am sooo in love with my flash drive. He's like my little friend. He always tells me what to do.... he tells me to do bad things. NO MIMOBOT!!! I WON'T DO IT!!! Please mimobot.... don't make me!!!

Teens have it hard

I am sick and tired of being discriminated against because of my age. It has gone on for much too long, and I will not stand for it. Why, just today, I was in Expo, because they had a thirty percent off sale, and I was sitting on a box, because quite frankly my legs were tired. Now, before I tell you what happened, I would like to inform you there was no sign saying "Don't sit on box" or anything of the sort. Okay, so now this really old man comes over to me and yells in the most insulting tone "Get off the boxes!". He gave me this really evil glare, so I decided to return it with an even worse stink eye. I also wanted to tell him something, but there is no way I have the moxy to do that. I did however (under my breath of course) called him a "fascist pig" and did tell him where he could go (hell) or as my science teacher says H-E- double hockey sticks. Here's another example of my age making people think differently of me. In this case, I was thought of as a shop lifter; no, not of lottery tickets, or cigarettes, but candles. Who in their right mind would shoplift a candle?! Well anywho, here's how it all played out. It was September of 2007, and I was with my friend Arie (no you can't know his last name) strolling the streets of downtown Hinsdale, and we stop by the Garden Gallery store. I know it sounds weird that two teenagers decide to go into a garden shop, but Arie insisted that they had the best organic chocolate. So we stepped inside, and Arie heads straight to the counter while I examine the merchandise. I stop by these scented candles, and smell them. They smelled disgusting. Before I continue with this story, you must know that I have a large green kiplinger bag I use for a backpack. I'll continue now. I picked up another candle and sniffed it, just as horrible as the last. I put it back and the woman behind the counter says "Did you just put that in your bag?" then she continued "I think you did". I replied "No, trust me, I don't steal candles. I decorate with them, but I don't steal them...." Then, me not being able to let something go, just had to add "Especially these foul smelling ones." My friend stared at me as if I had a third eye. Now that clerk was angry. She gave me this hateful glare and said "Give me your bag. I want to look in it." and I replied "Do you have a warrant? Are you a police officer? No, you are a store clerk and have no power over me. So, no you may not look at my bag." At this point, Arie was backing out of the store because of being uncomfortable, but when he heard my speech, it stopped him in his tracks. The clerk was about to go insane. She just said "Get out of my store." I answered "Happily." in a voice as sweet as vomit. I was never so proud of myself.

My Version Of Text Talk

LOL=Lots of Lettuce

TTYL= Thinking of thanking you, loonies

OMG= Ongoing Manic Gerbils 

 

I think I'm right...

New York; Most Miserable City (Not Chicago)

Chicago? Miserable? I think not! New York is the most miserable, not Chicago. Here's why I think New York is the most miserable.

1. New York is obviously jealous of Chicago, since they stole Marshall fields, and a city with jealousy isn't a happy one!
2. It has soooooo many homeless people, and I don't think they are at all happy.
3. New York has too much polution, whereas Chicago is the cleanest city in the US.
4. New York is known for its architecture, yet they insist on taking apart details to sell them.
5. New York is incredibly crowded, there's no room to move!
6. It has too much crime.
7. It's way too dirty for my tastes.

The World Weeps Today...

Because my beloved Domino Magazine is closing. (blowing nose) I will never see their designer rooms,nor will I be able to receive there design tips to inspire me. Domino, this song's for you, because you really did raise me up... 

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains

You raise me up, so I can walk on stormy seas.

I am strong when I am on your shoulders

You raise me up, to more than I can be.....

Oh, and Conde Naste (the company that canceled Domino) I want to let you know that you made a little innocent boy (well, I guess Im not that little) cry. A lot. I hope you get closed and all your idiotic executives can live in boxes. And FYI, I won't give you any change.

Creepy Age Differences and Soap Operas

Okay, so there's this horribly cheesy, and at times creepy as all hell soap opera. Its truly terrifying. For example, you will soon meet one of the main characters and his wife. Observe the age differences.Heres the man. Now, get ready for his lovie dove. This may creep you out.

Before you scroll down, I recommend you get a barf bag, pills, or if you'd like a stomach medicine.

She's a fifteen year old girl!! Stranger danger!! EEEEEEK!!!!! The old man is a perv!

My Brilliant Metaphor Music

Daily Gym

Have any of you ever heard of "The Logical Song" by Supertramp? Well, I'm feeling that my beautiful (and magical) life is being crushed and burned-and kicked. A lot. Today, we found out that our school would be receiving "the gift" (as my teacher said, I think its more of a curse) of daily gym, or as I like to say HELL. Now, I know all you ultra jocks reading this are probably scoffing at me, and thinking "What an idiot", but allow me to explain; see, you guys are school royalty, kings and queens, but we mere unpopular mortals, are usually less athletic than you. So for people like me, daily gym is torture. So to you popular royalty, I say "Shut up!". Here's what will happen to me if I submit to daily gym.

1. I will melt like the wicked witch of the west in contact with water
2. I would have so little energy for anything after period four, and thus my grades would suffer as well as my body.
3. I would have one of the following; a cardiac arrest, frost bite (from being forced to go outside), or a brain tumor formed from pure boredom.

You know, gym for me has always been like Drama class. I never have to do anything, all I have to do is have the teachers think I'm participating. For example, during the basketball unit last year, all that "Oh yeah I'm open" crap was totally fake. That's one advantage of being unpopular, nobody ever lets you do anything in gym. I guess that's what popular people think is torture to us... well, your WRONG. We (or at least I) love it. I get to have a pleasant stroll along the gym, while everyone else is running and jumping, and sweating, and panting like a dog. I always feel so bad for them when they come walking into their next class with tomato red faces. But inside, I laugh at them.


P.S. If you didn't understand my brilliant metaphor at the beginning, check out my post with the Supertramp song right above this one.