I want to kil...I mean..serve you

My loyal followers, I'd like to introduce you to the world's absolute creepiest robotic servant, Ms. Katrina Van Televox!!

Now, when I look at this, there is one glaring question in my mind; Why in the world is she dressed up like a demented quaker lady? I mean, she even has a bonnet, for Christ's sake! First, you would only wear a bonnet if your married, and she is a Ms. Televox after-all, and second of all, wasn't the whole "wear a bonnet" thing over by 1930 (the year of the creation of Ms. Televox)?

While on the subject of Ms. Televox's civil status, it slightly unnerves me that she is single. Why you ask? Because If I start thinking of her looking for a Mr. Televox, (Which does actually exist by the way, along with a child televox) and then, If I'm thinking about that, I have to think about how she gives birth to the little child televoxes which is just plain old creepy, no?

I don't know if it's just me, but does Ms. Televox not look like she want's to slip something in your drink? I think it's that mischevious look in her unblinking eyes that seems to say "I hate you, humanoid, DIE" Yep, that Ms. Televox would be the first to turn on you when the robot revolution begins, and unlike the robots in "I, Robot", she wouldn't waste any time scaring us with curfews and threats. Nope, she'd just go straight for the kill. If I had her in my house, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.

So, I'd definitely never by her, especially at the wopping price of 22,000, which, in her day, would mean about ninety thousand dollars today. Would you buy Ms. Televox? Please comment with your opinions

The Future computer of the past, or a Future So Bright You Need A Steering Wheel

Fifty-five years ago, "Popular Mechanics" wrote an article describing what a house in the year 2004 would be like. Now, what would a house of the future be without a ginormous bathroom sized "home computer" with a steering wheel on it? It's interesting to see how wrong the good people at RAND laboratories really were. I especially love that last line of the article "the computer will be easy to uses!" In what world does that computer look easy to use? First of all, I counted 62 dials on the main body of computer, for god knows what purpose! Second, why does the typewriter have all that giant paper hanging out of it? Is it a punch tape code or what? And third, and may I say the most baffleing, why is there a giant steering wheel on it?! I mean, it can't be used for a mouse, as it only goes in circles, and it definitely can't be just decoration so why is there an enormous wheel on the computer? Seeing what people from the past thought about the future really makes you think....How far off are we with our visions of the computer of the future? Here's a nice picture of a Macintosh computer prototype that they think will be able to built by 2013

yes, it gets even thinner!

I hope that fifty years from now, somebody will mock our computers and make a fantastic blog post about it.

How Strange...

**Note, the following may be considered creepy**

Music videos are a great way to show creativity with music. Sadly, they are also a great replacement for drug tests. I mean it, who needs urine in a plastic cup when you can get a much clearer result just by watching a short movie. There are some shining examples of MMVWH (or making music videos when high) For example, take the eighties classic "Down under by men at work.

I don't think that this video requires any witty commentary on my part.

All right then, who's ready for some more sad cases of MMVWH?

Here's crazy music video number two, Ashes to Ashes, by David Bowie

I can just see Mr. Bowie planning this one out..... "So heres the plan, Im gonna be dressed like a really creepy clown with two men dressed like women in black mourning outfits, and my ex-wife dressed in a blue prom dress walking in some planet with a dump truck behind us! I tell you guys, this idea is infallable. Oh! I almost forgot, I want my grandma to walk with me in the last scene of the video." Can somebody say.... Heroine?

And for our next spectacle, behold, Keep Feeling Fascination, by the Human League!

I'd like to ask why. First, why is there a Giant Red dot painted on top of your house? Second, why are you wearing so much make up? Third, why did the kid in white switch to red when he stepped into the red circle? And how? Is he a quick changer or something? Oh, and just how high/ drunk were you all when you wrote this music video?

As horrible as these music videos are, the songs are fantastic. Just wanted to mention that so that The Human League, David Bowie, and the Men At Work don't hunt me down and kill me.

They say they've found proof of life on Mars. Apparently, these days pixelized pictures of twisted up brownish space rocks are now considered to be concrete proof of life on another planet. The even sadder part is that people actually are stupid enough to believe this. What would said alien be doing just sitting there? Waiting for a taxi? I would also like to ask, if this is a real alien, why is it connected to the ground? But finding this does have a bright side. It reminds me of a song.

This ones dedicated to you, alien lady;

David Bowie - Life On Mars

You've just gotta love correlations with bad photos, and excellent music.

Security, or why?

Every once in a while in life, you will experience a "wha....? moment; a moment that will never cease to baffle you, a moment. You usually experince this feeling due to another's actions, or what somebody says. On this such occasion, it was due to someody's action. I shall call this somebody, Fernando. To understand this fully, I'd first have to tell you about the trip we took as a school to Washington. Every year, our school has a trip to Washington D.C. for all the eighth graders. We stay there for a weekend touring, and we need to have four room-mates. Originally, I had a full group of four friends, but that little by little broke apart, like my Best Friend couldn't come to the trip, the other one switched rooms, and I was left with just one good friend. Noticing that I on;y had two roomates, the school assigned me two other people, one of the people being the infamous Fernando. So I had a room, and the two seemed nice enough, so I didn't mine. A week later, when we went to D.C., we toured all day, and we were all so tired, and just wanted to get some sleep. At least, nearly all of us, Fernando had something else planned. So we come up to our room, and open the door, and one of us suggested we get some ice. We all went with said person to get ice, except Fernando, who said he was tired and would just go to bed. We came back some minutes later, and everything seemed like it was fine. That was until one of the teachers knocked on our door; I went to the door, and said hello, but he wasn't in a hello type of mood. He said "Your room specifically has been complained about two times, whatever your doing, cut it out!" he then proceeded to shut the door, and to leave me confused. I hadn't even been in the room, and even when I was out of it, I was nice and quiet, and quite respectful too, just like the rest of the group. And then it hit me; FERNANDO!!. I then asked Fernando what he was doing while we were gone. Than he started laughing like someone mad man fresh out of Bedlam. The second I heard that laugh, my stomach dropped, and I thought I might lose the McDonald's I ate that afternoon would be coming right back up. He said, while still laughing, "I called security on ourselves!". This, my friends, is where the "Wha.......?" moment comes in. All I could say was "Why?". His explanation didn't do much to convince me of his sanity; "I wanted to see if the front desk did anything! They never respond to complaints, you know!" I felt like saying, "Well obviously they do!" Instead I chose the nicer option and said "So you called two times?" He said "Yeah", as if calling securtiy on yourself was the perfectly sane thing to do. He then continued to say "They'd be more likely to do something if I called twice." Once again, "wha....?" I couldn't hold back this time and said "You wanted them to do something?" "Yeah! I wanted to show them to do what they should do!" I then decided my interview with the crazy was going nowhere, so I abandoned it, and decided he was a masochist in addition to being insane.

Not Fair!

Today was the penultimate day of school, and a disappointment. Well, to be fair, it was fun until the end of the day. You see, we were walking back to school from the park and I decided to walk across the street instead of around the street. It seems logical enough, no? So it seemed like nobody noticed, not that I was concerned with hiding it. But apparently somebody did notice it, and it just happened to be the vice principal. Apparently the vice principal is a real stickler on traffic safety rules. the second I came in to the school the voice speaker went on and said "Max, come to the office, Max come to the office." Oh god. I only just realized why I was being called. I had some 'splaining to do. When I came into the office, three teachers stood there, waiting to hear some serious sucking up and apologies. One of them said "Max, we take the safety of our students very seriously here. Do you know what you did?" I decided to be honest and said, Yeah, I was crossing the street." "Do you know what a serious breech of trust and safety this is?!" The conversation went on like that for about ten minutes. I played the whole good little boy act, and was all nice and good. But what I really wanted to say is how evil they really are, what horrible over-reacting devils they are. Oh, I felt like punching a hole into the wall and stuffing all the teachers in there, but instead I decided that when I'm rich and own a big company, I'll make sure they can't get any jobs. They deserve it!

The chase-a story concerning bikes, a school secretary, and a mistaken pursuer

It was 10:30 o'clock when I went out on my bike trip. It was a trip of great importance, a matter of life or death (Okay, so maybe it was more like good grade or okay grade, but life or death sounds so much more dramatic.) So, I set out at a breakneck speed, rushing through the quiet streets and picket fenced yards, and to my school. Unbenounced to me, a jogger who was in as much hurry as me was right behind me. To the common, not so intelligent eye it looked as if I was being pursued by the jogger. As I neared the school, so did the jogger, and at that very moment, a friendly school secretary was looking out the window. To her, this moment looked like a chase taken from a Stephen King novel, and she, most likely wanting to be the heroine of the story, ran to the door and buzzed me in. Now, when I came in, I thought she was merely being friendly, but I knew this wasn't the case when she said "Are you alright? Do you know who that man was? Do you want me to call the police?" I was confused. I said, forgetting my matters, "What are you talking about?" She said "You know, the man who was chasing you!" "Nobody was chasing me." feeling I needed to say more, I said "sorry" We stood there in awkward embarrassed silence until the secretary said "Well... then why are you here?" "I have to give a package to a teacher." "Go ahead then..." I think I crushed her dreams.