Not Fair!

Today was the penultimate day of school, and a disappointment. Well, to be fair, it was fun until the end of the day. You see, we were walking back to school from the park and I decided to walk across the street instead of around the street. It seems logical enough, no? So it seemed like nobody noticed, not that I was concerned with hiding it. But apparently somebody did notice it, and it just happened to be the vice principal. Apparently the vice principal is a real stickler on traffic safety rules. the second I came in to the school the voice speaker went on and said "Max, come to the office, Max come to the office." Oh god. I only just realized why I was being called. I had some 'splaining to do. When I came into the office, three teachers stood there, waiting to hear some serious sucking up and apologies. One of them said "Max, we take the safety of our students very seriously here. Do you know what you did?" I decided to be honest and said, Yeah, I was crossing the street." "Do you know what a serious breech of trust and safety this is?!" The conversation went on like that for about ten minutes. I played the whole good little boy act, and was all nice and good. But what I really wanted to say is how evil they really are, what horrible over-reacting devils they are. Oh, I felt like punching a hole into the wall and stuffing all the teachers in there, but instead I decided that when I'm rich and own a big company, I'll make sure they can't get any jobs. They deserve it!

The chase-a story concerning bikes, a school secretary, and a mistaken pursuer

It was 10:30 o'clock when I went out on my bike trip. It was a trip of great importance, a matter of life or death (Okay, so maybe it was more like good grade or okay grade, but life or death sounds so much more dramatic.) So, I set out at a breakneck speed, rushing through the quiet streets and picket fenced yards, and to my school. Unbenounced to me, a jogger who was in as much hurry as me was right behind me. To the common, not so intelligent eye it looked as if I was being pursued by the jogger. As I neared the school, so did the jogger, and at that very moment, a friendly school secretary was looking out the window. To her, this moment looked like a chase taken from a Stephen King novel, and she, most likely wanting to be the heroine of the story, ran to the door and buzzed me in. Now, when I came in, I thought she was merely being friendly, but I knew this wasn't the case when she said "Are you alright? Do you know who that man was? Do you want me to call the police?" I was confused. I said, forgetting my matters, "What are you talking about?" She said "You know, the man who was chasing you!" "Nobody was chasing me." feeling I needed to say more, I said "sorry" We stood there in awkward embarrassed silence until the secretary said "Well... then why are you here?" "I have to give a package to a teacher." "Go ahead then..." I think I crushed her dreams.

Da da da da da six sodas da da da da six sodas....

and Im the only drinker, ya!!

I got a six pack of sodas, and Im happy. Not much else to say except HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPEEE!!!!!! THANK GOD!!!!!! YESSSS!!!!

Sims 3 Anticipation

ITS ALMOST HERE!!! JUST ONE MORE WEEK!!!! OMG!!!

This is for you Will Wright (creator of the sims)

Hast Du etwas Zeit für mich

I am officially a true tri-lingual!! First Spanish, then English, and now (drum roll) GERMAN!!!!! Sure, its just the first line of Nena's hit 99 luft ballon, but that works!! I can use that for so much, for example here's a dialogue.

-sprechen ze deutsch?

-Has du etwas zit fur mich!

Then he would know I speak German. Like I said tri-lingual.

This is for you Nena, for teaching me German;

Where are the bathrooms?? A tale of Springfield, hasidic jews, urinals, and a dirty look

It all started on a field trip to New Salem (hometown of Lincoln). As we were getting out, unseen by us, so were a group of hasidic Jews. If you don't know what I'm talking about here is a picture;



One other thing you should know is that the whole place, New Salem that is, has actors all around pretending they live in that time. So we were all walkin' around the village talking to the actors and I go up to what I think is suppose to be a colonial woman and ask "Hey, you work here! So, I was wondering if you knew how to get the old woodworking shop and if there's a mens room around there. She looked at me all strange and said "Mens room?" I thought she was just sticking to her acting thing pretending she didn't know what mens rooms are so I decided I'd play along with her and said "You know, like sinks I think you call them? They have little moons on the door? She kept on staring at me and I said, starting to get a bit frustrated with her "act" and said "Toilets? Urinals? a sign with a blue man on it? And thats when I realized it there was a group of similarly dressed men and women, the men with these ginormo beards, and I realized she was no actor. I especially noticed a blond bearded man who I assume was the woman's husband giving me a look that said; I spend my days cutting wood and working, so I could take you anywhere anytime, kid."I just said "uhh... sorry," I said sorry the canadian way (suery) so that they would possibly take pity on someone who isn't from here. I don't think it worked. As we were boarding the bus to go home, I saw the hacidic jews one more time, and maybe it was just my imagination, but I think they were all glaring at me.

The Embarassing Truth Of How I Nearly Died Today

I nearly died today, and it was all my dearest daddy's fault. You see, we were on our way to pick up some delicious Chinese food from Jade Dragon, the best restaurant here in Hinsdale, and me and my dad were listening to some music. As the car stereo blared out Al Stewart's 1988 hit, Time Passages


, my dad became so passionate of the saxophone playing in the background, that he started to air sax. Yes, my dad completely ignored the loud electric guitar, but played an imginary saxophone. One thing that you have to keep in mind is that my dad is the one who is driving this whole time. While he was air-saxing, he totally forgot about the wheel. We swerved nearly off the road, and my dad had to insanely grab the wheel and get ourselves back on the road. I had a little fantasy about how our acceptance into heaven (or hell?) would be.

Gabriel: I think we might have the file wrong... It says here you died because you were pretending to play a saxophone... while you were driving...

Me: It was my dads fault! He was the one who played the imaginary saxaphone!

Dad: Blame your dad, real cool...

Gabriel: So this file is... correct?

Me: Yep, sounds about right.

Gabriel: That is officially the dumbest excuse for a car accident I have ever heard! Get back to earth.

I often have these little faux diolouges with myself.