What's SO special about Japan

Hello loyal followers! As most of you should know by now, I'm an enormous fan of eighties music. Indeed, it makes up a good eighty percent or so of my ipod. On one of the many occasions while I was listening to that eighty perent or so of my ipod, I began to notice the strangest of patterns-almost every other song I played mentioned Japan. It was pretty insane. If you don't believe me, than...

A) Shame one you, haven't you learned by now that I'm always right?
B) Read the rest of this post. I'm sure you'll be convinced.

Some of the songs are more obvious than others. Take these three, you know they're going to be talking about Japan just by reading the title.

Here's song number one, which just to let you know, I'm in love with. Big In Japan by Alphaville

This song is just so perfect. But it really does rather put Japan in a negative light, but it does mention it, and thus fits in perfectly in this blog post.

Are you ready for obvious Japan song number two? This one, though it may not seem so, is slightly racey in my opinion. The song is Japanese Boy, by Aneka, one of the most famous English impersonator of a Japanese woman. And possibly the only one.

Isn't it great how she's as pale as snow and she's singing in a fake Japanese voice? And how the only possible description she can give of her boyfriend is that he's Japanese? But however racist the song may be, I still love it to bits and listen to it frequently.

The time has come for the last of our obvious Japan songs. It's really quite confusing, and makes no sense, but it says "Japanese" in a quazi-japanese accent about a hundred or so times, so it counts. Turning Japanes, by the Vapors.

What was with the English back then? Must they do an impression of a Japanese person?
I wonder if this was a drug song...It really makes no sense. Any ideas?

Now here's a much less obvious song. You've probably heard this song before, and didn't even notice the Japan reference. At least, that was the case with me, until I started actually listening to the lyrics rather than just half listening half dancing. It's time for Lies by the Thompson Twins, a recent obsession of mine.

I hate to strau from the subject, but it wouldn't be like me at all if I didn't comment on how extraordinarily creepy this video is. Especially the whole creepy female version of Mike Score coming closer and closer to the screen, eyes wide open and clad with the face of an angry hobo.

That's all I could find that was embedable, there would've been more, but the mean people at you-tube took away the embeding options for most of the videos I wanted to share. Youtube executives, if you are reading this, then I hope your happy. You denied an innocent, handsome, and lovely teenage boy of fullfilment of his ingenious idea for a blog post.

On that happy note, I hope you enjoyed the few songs I COULD post. Hope you all have a lovely day.

This one's for me

Hello loyal followers! When I write a blog post, normally I choose to write it about something I found on the internet that made me chortle, or a strange photo, but today, I've decided to give you all the intense entertainment that only a post dedicated to me could generate. So please give a warm and hardy applause tooo...ME!!

So I'd like share with all of you a song, which, in addition to describing me perfectly, states a fact that most of my friends and family have pointed out to me, and that I fully agree, acknowledge, and am quite proud of. I won't tell you the title of the songs, as that would spoil the surprise, but I can say that the artists are Mr. Daryl Hall and John Oates.

I'm quite proud of being out of touch, at least music-wise, because the music of today is, quite frankly, disgusting. I suppose you could also I'm out of touch because I still use radio's that are powered by tubes, and listen to my transistor, and wear skinny ties, and...To spare you the exceedingly long list, I'll just make one blanket statement; Estetichally and audio-wise, I am very out of touch.

Well, there is much more to know about me, but that's one of the most important things about me, that I'm an old soul and all that. Hope you enjoyed the song and the post everybody!

Can YOU understand?

Hello loyal followers! I'm sure everybody who is reading this at some time or another heard a song, that no matter how hard you try, you can never for the life of you decipher the lyrics. Often times, these songs drive you to insanity, to the point of pulling out your hair in frustration. So naturally, I want to show you some of these so you can suffer along with me!! It's almost like a game show, except if you actually understand what they're saying, their's no prizes. Or applause. But you can always applaud yourself, right?

Anyhow, let's go to round one. Can YOU hear what they're saying?

Psychedelic Furs - Love My Way
Uploaded by hushhush112. - Explore more music videos.

I'm now picturing the undoubtably shocked/confused look on your face. And possibly giggling at the thought. But anyhow, here are the official lyrics, which I seriously think were invented at the last minute.

there's an army

on the dancefloor

it's a fashion

with a gun my love

in a room

without a door

a kiss is not enough



in

love my way

it's a new road

i follow where

my mind goes



they'd put us

on a railroad

they'd dearly

make us pay

for laughing

in their faces

and making it our way

there's emptiness

behind their eyes

there's dust

in all their hearts

they just want to

steal us all

and take us all apart



but not in

love my way

it's a new road

i follow where

my mind goes



swallow all your tears my love

put on your new face

you can never win or lose

if you don't run the race

I'm confused too. Ready for round number two? Me neither! But the show must go on....

This one is slightly harder than the first one first one. I know, quite hard to believe isn't it?

 The only thing I can understand is the chorus, and not even all of that either. Now, let's reveal the lyrics. Prepare to be shocked.
Poor old Johnny Ray

Sounded sad upon the radio, he moved a million hearts in mono.

Our mothers cried and sang along and who'd blame them.

Now you're grown, so grown, now I must say more than ever.

Go Toora Loora Toora Loo-Rye-Aye

and we can sing just like our fathers.



Come on Eileen,

I swear (well he means) At this moment you mean everything,

With you in that dress my thoughts I confess verge on dirty

Ah come on Eileen.



These people round here wear beaten down eyes

Sunk in smoke dried faces they're so resigned to what their fate is,

But not us, no not us we are far too young and clever.

Remember Toora Loora Toora Loo-Rye-Aye

Eileen I'll hum this tune forever.



Come on Eileen, I swear, well he means

Ah come on let's take off everything,

That pretty red dress Eileen (Tell him yes) 

I wonder if these lyrics are supposed to make sense, because if so, it's not working out.....
Time for our third and final round of confusing, and physically impossible to understand lyrics. Oh Come on.... You don't have to look so happy!
Here's the video! Good luck. Your going to need it....

A-ha - Take on Me -
I love that song! Great synth. Unfortunately, due to heavy Scandanavian accents make it nearly impossible to understand the words! Yeah!

Here's the lyrics!
We're talking away
I don't know what
I'm to say I'll say it anyway
Today's another day to find you
Shying away
I'll be coming for your love, OK?
Take on me, take me on
I'll be gone
In a day or two

So needless to say
I'm odds and ends
But that's me stumbling away
Slowly learning that life is OK.
Say after me
It's no better to be safe than sorry

Take on me, take me on
I'll be gone
In a day or two

Oh the things that you say
Is it life or
Just a play my worries away
You're all the things I've got to
remember
You're shying away
I'll be coming for you anyway

Take on me, take me on

In a day or two

Sick of Being Sick

Well, as some of my facebook connected readers may know, I've taken quite ill all this week. It's funny in a way, because I always look forward to sick days, and long cozy days under my most comfortable blanket, but always conveniently forget that being sick hurts. Isn't that the way? Well, there's always a bright side to these matters, and my bright side is that I've gotten a lot more time to write in my blog! I do hope your not all sick of my bi-daily posts that I've recently taken to writing. So anyhow, I just felt like a grumble and a giggle, and I hope I gave you the latter.

Night everyone,

Max

I Hate Remakes.

As many of those who are especially close to me, remakes of incredible songs make me angry to the point of forming green skin, and turning my trousers into short shorts. What especially makes me angry is when the new remake is so unbearably annoying that you have trouble listening through the whole thing. This most tragic of events recently happened to me, while looking up one of my favorite songs, Self Control by Laura Branigan, and I found not only one but TWO horrible remakes.

In case you don't know the beautiful original song, here it is.

Wow. That is one incredible song.

And here's a not so incredible version of it, sang in Hindi. I kid you not.

If that's not the most annoying thing I ever heard, I don't know what is. I also want to know why a badly dressed woman with obviously fake curls is dancing around a warehouse full of giant ice-cubes, while singing to an excersize obsessed man who is clearly ignoring her. Maybe it's an Indian thing...

Time for remake number two! what especially bothers me about this one is how they turned an incredible pop song into one that you'd expect to hear at a seedy strip club.

I mean, seriously, what guy wears a fish-net shirt? And what girl is attracted by men wearing fish-net shirts? That'd be a bit of a turn off for me, at least. Another thing that bothers me is how ugly the main singer is, and yet all those random "creatures of the night" want her desperately. What's so special about her?

Thank you all for listening to my angry rant! I do hope you all agree with me, because if you don't, I'm afraid I'll have to excommunicate you from my life. On that happy note, have a great day!

An Ode to Mondays

As most of you (hopefully) know, today is Monday. As I also hope you know, it is the worst day of the week. What's that you say? You say it's a chance for a fresh new week? A new start? Well I say Hum-bug! We are a culture who have always besmirched Mondays, and we (and me!) don't intend to stop now. To prove all those who oppose of my undoubtably correct opinion, here are a couple of musical numbers to back me up, and really, who can argue with those?

The first song that comes to mind is "Manic Monday" by the Bangles.

Like those five charming ladies, I too wish that it were Sunday. So very, very badly. But then again, I'd much rather it were saturday, but that wouldn't rhyme, now would it?

If that lovely song didn't convince you of my point, then...

a) SHAME ON YOU!

b) WHY NOT?!

c) Prepare yourself for another song!

This one is from the incredible post-punk band ever, New Order.

It's all in the name people! Though I'm not quite sure if it's all in the lyrics...but back to the point! Blue equals sad right? And sad=bad! Hence, one could construe the song to mean that Mondays are the true root of all evil.

Our third, and arguably best song is "I don't like Mondays"

Need I even make a point here? Not only do people not like Mondays, as is evident in the song title, but it leads you to commit hainus acts of murder. If that doesn't convince you I don't know what will.

Well, that's all for today everybody, hope you all had a lot of fun reading, and that I brightened you undoubtably dull and tiresome Monday.

How Times Have Changed

Many of us have seen it-ads that simply make you think "Gosh, if those were on today...." I recently found some prime example of these, in it's most pure (or should I say impure?) form. Yes my friends, they are old cigarette commercials! No applause? Very well then....let's begin.

Here's our first smoky specimen, this one with some extra Christmas cheer.

First off, let me start with the giant purple gorilla in the room. What kind of a cheap good-for-nothing buys somebody a cheap pack of cigarettes for christmas? That doesn't even qualify as a stocking stuffer! Plus, your basically giving somebody lung cancer for Christmas, and that certainly doesn't put me in the mood for caroling and merry making.

Up next in our cough inducing agenda is this lovely commercial. Let's see if any of you can guess why it was banned....

Seriously? That was not "kool". This is almost as bad as Joe Camel! You've got to love how truly evil the old corporations used to be. What I find strange about the commercial is how the other child was leaning inside the jacket of the other kid. What in the world was that for?

Our final video is a classic.

Well that totally takes away all former fears I used to have about cigarettes. I mean, now that I know that our wise doctors smoke, I think I might take it up myself! But seriously, this has to be the commercial that time has treated the worst. Wouldn't it be just awful having your doctor puffing smoke in your face during your examination?

Thank goodness smoking has been banned on the air-waves, I couldn't stand having to hear the drible the cigarette companies had to offer us.

What Are YOU So Happy About?!

It seems that every time I see an old picture of a housewife, the lady in question always looks so disgustingly, nauseatingly happy. What do they have to be happy about? They slaved in a kitchen all day, cleaned after every possible type of mess, and take care of the children. So why smile? They have nothing to smile about! Here are some shining examples of unnecessary happiness.

Who gets so excited over cleaning a pan? It's happiness to the point where it almost looks psychotic. Any minute now, that housewife is going to take that pan she loves so much, go to her car-cleaning husband who she doesn't love so much, and smack him like theres no tomorrow.

Our second cheery housewife, who's been busy mixing some type of strange food for the last sixty years or so, is very creep...err...enthusiastic to meet you.
I have a very disturbing feeling that whatever it is she's holding is laden with large amounts of arsenic. It's either that, or a quite different, more "happy" (or halucinagenic...) type of drug.

While our prior housewife was perhaps a bit too claculating, our next one is a bit too...how do I put this gently...laissez faire. for all you non polygots out there, that means devil may care.

I mean, just look at how precariously placed that cake is! It's going to fall at any minute, and there she is, never ceasing to smile, despite her fate. It almost makes me angry.

I can understand smiling while your cooking, as it can often times be great fun. What I most certainly do not understand is smiling while your cleaning. Observe this ray of sunshine over here, mopping away, smiling as if she had just won the publishers clearing house award.

What is soo funny about cleaning a floor? I certainly wouldn't be so happy, cleaning a hideous looking floor, that no matter how clean it gets, will always look disgusting. I also have to mention that the bright pink, puffy apron she's wearing makes her look like she has thunder thighs, giving her even more reason to have a frown on her face.

I don't get these crazy women. Maybe they're being helped out by "Mother's Little Helper" AKA Valium. That must be it, for I can't fathom any other reason. Hope you all liked the post!