Sunday, November 7, 2010

What Are YOU So Happy About?!

It seems that every time I see an old picture of a housewife, the lady in question always looks so disgustingly, nauseatingly happy. What do they have to be happy about? They slaved in a kitchen all day, cleaned after every possible type of mess, and take care of the children. So why smile? They have nothing to smile about! Here are some shining examples of unnecessary happiness.

Who gets so excited over cleaning a pan? It's happiness to the point where it almost looks psychotic. Any minute now, that housewife is going to take that pan she loves so much, go to her car-cleaning husband who she doesn't love so much, and smack him like theres no tomorrow.

Our second cheery housewife, who's been busy mixing some type of strange food for the last sixty years or so, is very creep...err...enthusiastic to meet you.
I have a very disturbing feeling that whatever it is she's holding is laden with large amounts of arsenic. It's either that, or a quite different, more "happy" (or halucinagenic...) type of drug.

While our prior housewife was perhaps a bit too claculating, our next one is a bit do I put this gently...laissez faire. for all you non polygots out there, that means devil may care.

I mean, just look at how precariously placed that cake is! It's going to fall at any minute, and there she is, never ceasing to smile, despite her fate. It almost makes me angry.

I can understand smiling while your cooking, as it can often times be great fun. What I most certainly do not understand is smiling while your cleaning. Observe this ray of sunshine over here, mopping away, smiling as if she had just won the publishers clearing house award.

What is soo funny about cleaning a floor? I certainly wouldn't be so happy, cleaning a hideous looking floor, that no matter how clean it gets, will always look disgusting. I also have to mention that the bright pink, puffy apron she's wearing makes her look like she has thunder thighs, giving her even more reason to have a frown on her face.

I don't get these crazy women. Maybe they're being helped out by "Mother's Little Helper" AKA Valium. That must be it, for I can't fathom any other reason. Hope you all liked the post!


  1. You can't see it, but I'm smiling so widely as to be mistaken for psychotic at your wonderful post!

  2. I imagine the cleaning ladies are humming: Clean, clean, clean, smile, smile, smile, now one will ever know that my husband and his ring-a-round the collar are underneath my shiny linoleum floor.