Cupid's arrow has struck me, and hard! All of a sudden, the sun is shining the brighter, little bluebirds are chirping all around me, and I'm faced with sudden urges to sing. Yes, indeed, everything looks brighter, even my future. Who is it, you ask? To which I respond, laughing in your face, "Not who but what!" I've found my dream-house! I always thought that it would come in the form of a giant chateau, or a manor home in England, but then I came across the cutest, most charming home, I've ever met. Sadly, our relationship is only online at the moment, but she's beautiful, I assure you. Here she is!
Just look at it...It's the perfect fifties story-book cottage, combining all of my favorite styles. Can't you just imagine pulling up in your perfect mint green Buick, to your perfect house, opening the door for your wife, whose carrying a hat-box with a vintage hat nestled inside, Ah yes, that would be the life. I hope that this house hasn't been demolished since the time that it was built, for then I' be quite disapointed, and my whole fantasy would be ruined! RUINED!
Hello loyal followers! Have you ever experienced a time, when you see something that's supposed to be totally innocent, like a cake, a work of art, or an old ad, and you somehow see something completely obscene? If you have, then your most likely familiar with that thought of "Am I the only one who saw that?" that flashes through your mind. I quite recently, (actually about two minutes ago), found this old advertisement, and the very thought mentioned above came to me. Here's that ad. I'll let you see it before I corrupt your minds with my thoughts on it. I now ask you to please look at the small paper in the woman's hand. It looks like a dollar, doesn't it? So here's what I see. That woman over there is a prostitute. How else would you explain her alluring posture, her scandalous (for the times) clothes, and the dollar that she obviously just received from that man. Right now, she's sweetening the deal a bit with some nice cold bottles of pepsis. That way, the strange man will be sure to give her a tip.
I really hope I'm not the only one who sees this....
Hello my loyal followers. So, I was browsing google images looking for vintage advertisements, just for giggles, you know? I was very shocked to find several cheery ads for a not-so-cheery subject; Nuclear Armageddon!!! What is it with the fifties and making every little thing, from nuclear holocaust to cleaning ugly linoleum floors, look so unbelievably happy. Here's our first example of horribly happy posters advertising the end of the civilized world. (that was quite a mouthful) Look at how happy these two ray of sunshines are building their shelter, which will probably end up failing to protect them from the dreadful effects of radiation poisoning. So smile on, you two, because you won't be smiling for much longer.
On that cheerful note, here's our next poster, which proves one very important lesson- Just because civilization has destroyed itself and the world is possibly irreversably damaged, and your stuck inside of a dark hole in the ground that's about the size of your closet, doesn't mean you can't smile!
Is it curmudgeon-y of me to be so appalled at these people's happiness? I don't think so. Anyhow, who's ready for the third and final poster? This one's especially horrible, as it advertises a celebration of an actual test bombing. Who celebrates that?! It makes it sound like such a good thing! Well, at least it made me laugh...
Hope you all loved the post, or at least some-what liked it, Max
Hello loyal followers! As most of you should know by now, I'm an enormous fan of eighties music. Indeed, it makes up a good eighty percent or so of my ipod. On one of the many occasions while I was listening to that eighty perent or so of my ipod, I began to notice the strangest of patterns-almost every other song I played mentioned Japan. It was pretty insane. If you don't believe me, than...
A) Shame one you, haven't you learned by now that I'm always right? B) Read the rest of this post. I'm sure you'll be convinced.
Some of the songs are more obvious than others. Take these three, you know they're going to be talking about Japan just by reading the title.
Here's song number one, which just to let you know, I'm in love with. Big In Japan by Alphaville
This song is just so perfect. But it really does rather put Japan in a negative light, but it does mention it, and thus fits in perfectly in this blog post.
Are you ready for obvious Japan song number two? This one, though it may not seem so, is slightly racey in my opinion. The song is Japanese Boy, by Aneka, one of the most famous English impersonator of a Japanese woman. And possibly the only one.
Isn't it great how she's as pale as snow and she's singing in a fake Japanese voice? And how the only possible description she can give of her boyfriend is that he's Japanese? But however racist the song may be, I still love it to bits and listen to it frequently.
The time has come for the last of our obvious Japan songs. It's really quite confusing, and makes no sense, but it says "Japanese" in a quazi-japanese accent about a hundred or so times, so it counts. Turning Japanes, by the Vapors.
What was with the English back then? Must they do an impression of a Japanese person? I wonder if this was a drug song...It really makes no sense. Any ideas?
Now here's a much less obvious song. You've probably heard this song before, and didn't even notice the Japan reference. At least, that was the case with me, until I started actually listening to the lyrics rather than just half listening half dancing. It's time for Lies by the Thompson Twins, a recent obsession of mine.
I hate to strau from the subject, but it wouldn't be like me at all if I didn't comment on how extraordinarily creepy this video is. Especially the whole creepy female version of Mike Score coming closer and closer to the screen, eyes wide open and clad with the face of an angry hobo.
That's all I could find that was embedable, there would've been more, but the mean people at you-tube took away the embeding options for most of the videos I wanted to share. Youtube executives, if you are reading this, then I hope your happy. You denied an innocent, handsome, and lovely teenage boy of fullfilment of his ingenious idea for a blog post.
On that happy note, I hope you enjoyed the few songs I COULD post. Hope you all have a lovely day.
Hello loyal followers! When I write a blog post, normally I choose to write it about something I found on the internet that made me chortle, or a strange photo, but today, I've decided to give you all the intense entertainment that only a post dedicated to me could generate. So please give a warm and hardy applause tooo...ME!!
So I'd like share with all of you a song, which, in addition to describing me perfectly, states a fact that most of my friends and family have pointed out to me, and that I fully agree, acknowledge, and am quite proud of. I won't tell you the title of the songs, as that would spoil the surprise, but I can say that the artists are Mr. Daryl Hall and John Oates.
I'm quite proud of being out of touch, at least music-wise, because the music of today is, quite frankly, disgusting. I suppose you could also I'm out of touch because I still use radio's that are powered by tubes, and listen to my transistor, and wear skinny ties, and...To spare you the exceedingly long list, I'll just make one blanket statement; Estetichally and audio-wise, I am very out of touch.
Well, there is much more to know about me, but that's one of the most important things about me, that I'm an old soul and all that. Hope you enjoyed the song and the post everybody!
Hello loyal followers! I'm sure everybody who is reading this at some time or another heard a song, that no matter how hard you try, you can never for the life of you decipher the lyrics. Often times, these songs drive you to insanity, to the point of pulling out your hair in frustration. So naturally, I want to show you some of these so you can suffer along with me!! It's almost like a game show, except if you actually understand what they're saying, their's no prizes. Or applause. But you can always applaud yourself, right?
Anyhow, let's go to round one. Can YOU hear what they're saying?
I'm now picturing the undoubtably shocked/confused look on your face. And possibly giggling at the thought. But anyhow, here are the official lyrics, which I seriously think were invented at the last minute.
there's an army
on the dancefloor
it's a fashion
with a gun my love
in a room
without a door
a kiss is not enough
in
love my way
it's a new road
i follow where
my mind goes
they'd put us
on a railroad
they'd dearly
make us pay
for laughing
in their faces
and making it our way
there's emptiness
behind their eyes
there's dust
in all their hearts
they just want to
steal us all
and take us all apart
but not in
love my way
it's a new road
i follow where
my mind goes
swallow all your tears my love
put on your new face
you can never win or lose
if you don't run the race
I'm confused too. Ready for round number two? Me neither! But the show must go on....
This one is slightly harder than the first one first one. I know, quite hard to believe isn't it?
The only thing I can understand is the chorus, and not even all of that either. Now, let's reveal the lyrics. Prepare to be shocked.
Poor old Johnny Ray
Sounded sad upon the radio, he moved a million hearts in mono.
Our mothers cried and sang along and who'd blame them.
Now you're grown, so grown, now I must say more than ever.
Go Toora Loora Toora Loo-Rye-Aye
and we can sing just like our fathers.
Come on Eileen,
I swear (well he means) At this moment you mean everything,
With you in that dress my thoughts I confess verge on dirty
Ah come on Eileen.
These people round here wear beaten down eyes
Sunk in smoke dried faces they're so resigned to what their fate is,
But not us, no not us we are far too young and clever.
Remember Toora Loora Toora Loo-Rye-Aye
Eileen I'll hum this tune forever.
Come on Eileen, I swear, well he means
Ah come on let's take off everything,
That pretty red dress Eileen (Tell him yes)
I wonder if these lyrics are supposed to make sense, because if so, it's not working out.....
Time for our third and final round of confusing, and physically impossible to understand lyrics. Oh Come on.... You don't have to look so happy!
Here's the video! Good luck. Your going to need it....
Well, as some of my facebook connected readers may know, I've taken quite ill all this week. It's funny in a way, because I always look forward to sick days, and long cozy days under my most comfortable blanket, but always conveniently forget that being sick hurts. Isn't that the way? Well, there's always a bright side to these matters, and my bright side is that I've gotten a lot more time to write in my blog! I do hope your not all sick of my bi-daily posts that I've recently taken to writing. So anyhow, I just felt like a grumble and a giggle, and I hope I gave you the latter.
